Does the beginning to my first chapter sound ok?

bedroom decor for toddler girls image

Jenna

I apologize if it is too long, please read as much as you can. I really appreciate it. This is, hopefully, the beginning of my first chapter of my novel entitled 'Papercuts'. Briefly, it is about a girl disenchanted with reality after having an incident in her childhood involving a man from another world. It goes so much deeper than this but there is only so much I get tell you in this short space. Thank you for reading! See 'extra details' for this extract continued.

No windows were open, and the breeze pushed back the door to her bedroom. The last of Summer lingered in the room, a pleasant phantom to the girl on the bed. A shade of apricot spilled over the carpet and dug into the crop circles made by a dragged out chair and hardened coke stains sinking into the floor. It was the juices of a late, chilly Summer day, being squeezed from the lowering sun for what was left of it and bleeding it dry. It was a final plea for the girl to get up and call an ambulance, to see the day that she had given away. Her back was warm as it lay directly under the window, the jumper she wore ridden up so that most of her lower back was exposed. Her fingers stretched towards the bedside table, slipping out of the bubble of warmth she was in and dipping into the shadow cast by the curtain above it. As she lay on the bed, inhaling and exhaling quietly, she mourned. By now, everyone had slipped out of their summer skins and thrown them across the backs of chairs. Soon, they would blend in to the rest of the room and its décor, along with school uniforms and skinny jeans. The electric hum of a TV left on standby weighted down the air as she waited. Her converse were tucked neatly to the bottom right hand side of her bed. Sand hid inside them, as did a folded piece of paper in the left shoe, with a heart drawn in the corner and filled in by a black marker pen that still had its heady scent. It didn't feel like she was dying. It felt like she was waiting for someone to come and save her.
A ghostly chuckle erupted in the room, making her sleepy eyes widen.

âAero? Aero...â
The bus juddered, bringing Aerosol back into the present. Sitting where the shopping bags of passengers ought to go, she stared blankly ahead of her at all the packed seats and people standing in the isle. Looking back at Aerosol just as mindlessly was a small girl with chopped ginger hair and freckles poured over her nose and upper cheeks. Her mother ushered her away out of discomfort, pulling her into the gap behind herself and in front of the next person.
âDo I look like a predator to you?â Aerosol blurted out, making the mother's mouth pop open in surprise. Secondary school kids chortled at the back of the bus but Aerosol didn't bother to suck in the words that came out of her mouth. She'd never see these people again. âWell I don'tâ
âAero!â
âWhat?â she snapped back over her shoulder, turning to face Lavina who was sitting on the front seat of the bus, who's seat Aerosol had her back pressed against.
âYou sound like a creep right now, and this bus literally has Child-line advertised on the wallsâ
âI am a creepâ replied Aerosol. âBut it's not like I get off at toddlersâ
âOh my godâ exclaimed Lavina, before mouthing a dragged out 'stop'. Aerosol giggled and covered her mouth with her sleeves, feeling the embarrassment of her words more from her friend's reaction rather than her feeling it herself.
âSorryâ she told the mother, her voice muffled by her jumper. âI'm really not a creep. I'm just misunderstoodâ
âMore like misdiagnosedâ Lavina muttered.
âOi!â
The rest of the bus ride was relevantly silent until she and Lavina got off at their stop opposite the sixth form.
âYou really don't get embarrassed easily, do you?â said Lavina as they walked. âBeing out with you in public is starting to get more and more dangerousâ
Aerosol hooked her thumbs under the straps of her backpack and dipped her head back as she pouted.
âAw. You still love me though, right?â
Lavina didn't give her friend a reply.
âWellâ Aerosol gasped, feigning insult. Lavina smiled and shook her head.
âDid you do anything interesting whilst I was away, then? You know, download any new music, commit any murders...â
âNoâ she laughed at the last suggestion. âIt was all pretty-â
âLush braces, Petâ snickered a girl as she passed in the opposite direction. Aerosol and Lavina stood still and looked back. The girl's friend, wearing track-pants and a hood, started walking backwards as she grinned in alpha pride and then touched her eyes.
âShould have gone to Specsaversâ
They turned away and met in a choir of chuckles, obviously pleased with themselves. Aerosol frowned at them as they sat down at the bus stop and looked at her for a reaction.
Widening her eyes, Aerosol coughed.
âYesâ she said. âBecause I really appreciate your opinion on my dental status and where the fuck I get my glasses from...wise, orange faced strangersâ she bowed in mock worship, placing her hands together, before turning her back on them and facing Lavina. âSo it was all pretty much mundaneâ she began walking, Lavina following soon after with a goofy smile on her face. âI swear, it made me want to kill myselfâ
âSo dramaticâ te

Answer
Awesome ! You go into great detail, and trust me , I have read ALOT of books ! This looks like a awesome start, keep it up , and don't get lazy add just as much detail as the first few paragraphs ! Keep it up, great job

Need ideas--Redecorating room for 4 yo boy/girl twins!?

treefor3

I'm looking for creative ideas for redecorating my 4 year old boy/girl twins' bedroom. They've outgrown their toddler beds and the babyish nursery decor. We're planning to get them bunk beds and I'd like to update the room. My boy is all "boy"--trucks and cars and the like--and my girl is all "girl"--pink and princesses and ponies. They do share a common love of animals, so I was thinking of doing some sort of animal theme. Any suggestions?

Answer
fun ideas here
http://kidsthemebedrooms.com/shared-bedrooms/decorating-shared-bedrooms-for-boys-and-girls.html

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