How does this sound as a rental cover letter?

beautiful master bedroom ideas image

Chris M

We recently toured an apartment we really like, however we recently had to short sale our home to move out of state for work. It was suggested that we write a cover letter. Please let me know if this sounds ok without sounding desperate (I've taken out info such as town, names, etc for privacy):

Thank you for taking the time to allow us to view your lovely townhome at XXX America Street in Certain City, USA. We have been searching for quite awhile for the perfect three bedroom in Certain City, and feel that we would very happy in the one you are offering. Along with this letter, please find our completed applications and current pay stubs. Since applications can give a very generic overview of possible tenants, please allow us to tell you a bit more about our family:

We are a family of five who recently made a big move to Second State from First State! Ryan graduated from Big University in the spring of last year with a degree in elementary education and, with the job market not being so great, decided to apply for positions out of state as well as in state. He ended up landing a job at Awesome Elementary in Certain City and we packed our belongings and moved up here in July of last year. Our intention was to settle in Certain City, however we were very limited in our time and choices when selecting our first apartment and ended up in Another City. We like Another City, however we still wish to be in Certain City. With Ryan working in the Certain City community and Sophia working in A Closeby Town, we feel it would limit our commute time and allow us to gain more family time. It will also be convenient to be closer to the commuter rail as Ryan will be starting his masterâs program at Another University this summer. With our current lease coming to an end, we feel this is the perfect time to move into the city and community weâve grown to love in the past year.

As previous homeowners, you can be assured that we will respect and care for your home as if it were our own. Being a very active family, we also feel that your location is perfect for us, being in close proximity downtown and also on a street that we feel comfortable allowing the kids to ride bikes on.

We also wanted to point out a few things from our application. Sophia is a kitchen designer currently working part time. As of June, she will be going full time and her income will increase to $900/week. If needed, we can provide a letter from her boss stating this. We also wanted to point out the fact that we recently had to short sale our home in First State. With the amount of foreclosures in our area, our home depreciated in value almost $100,000 and it was a last option for us to sell to move up here for Ryanâs career. Please know that, while we realize this may be a red flag, we have never been late on our rent and could provide proof of that. We would also be willing to give a security deposit or pay a little more per month in rent to make you feel more comfortable with us. We really love your home and would be willing to discuss any possible ideas and hope that you will find us to be suitable candidates for your beautiful unit.

Thank you for your consideration,
(our names)
The last paragraph is included because the short sale has affected our credit, and they will see it on our report, so we'd like to address it beforehand. It is saying that, in spite of the short sale, we can afford the rent and would be willing to pay an additional deposit to ease their minds. We also wanted to explain the situation a bit - we didn't short sale because we could no longer afford the home, we HAD to sell the home due to moving out of state for a job and after it being on the market for a year, had to go to a short sale to be done with it.

Answer
That last paragraph of yours is a red flag paragraph.

You sound as though you need to convince them that you can afford their rent, which suggests that perhaps you can't.

Sorry, but it doesn't work for me - there's a 'fakeness' about it.

What's the best place to go on vacation to?

EllieEncha

I have 2 weeks in summer to go somewhere with my friends and family but we have no idea where to go. We're not rich, so we won't leave the United States. If you can tell me about some really cool places we might want to go to (in the USA) that would be really awesome. Thanks!

Answer
Beautiful Blue Ridge Mountain Cabin available year round for short term vacation rentals.

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Relax and unwind to the peace and serenity you will find while enjoying many of our luxury ammenities including a wood burning fireplace & 6 person hot tub enclosed on a screen porch overlooking breathtaking mountain views by day and bright stars at night.

Have fun in the oversize Game Room complete with a custom handcrafted Cedar Top Wet Bar and LOG Checker Board Table and Benches, Pool Table, Poker/Card Table, 2 full size futons, gas log fireplace and incredible Mountain Views.

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Located only 90 minutes North of Atlanta, Georgia

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